The ridiculously high standard of those two letters: B and W.

My 2012 resolution was to delve into film again. For personal projects. And I did my first color project earlier this year and blogged it this past July.

But I stopped and didn't really succeed with pushing myself forward with more projects. I let that film collect dust, and it took my bride-turned-friend Jenn to push me into a film date commitment. (She bribed me with Williamsburg and a fun ferry ride. Hey, I'm simple to please. ;) ) Seriously, I needed that accountability.

Because I am that type of person who fears failure. Even on personal projects. I am my own worst critic. (Yeah... it's why my love of baking went to Wonderland and hasn't returned since the gluten allergy became known.)

Here's a little secret. I've set such ridiculously high standards with black and white photography for myself that the anxiety over NOT knowing how film, unedited, would turn out was very real. Yes, TOTALLY irrational and totally ridiculous. lol

I haven't exclusively used B&W film in a little over a decade. I believe film shouldn't be touched up digitally or brought into the digital editing realm. It just feels... wrong (for me). So whatever developed film I got back, I knew I wouldn't/couldn't touch in Lightroom or Photoshop.

So those are my psychological-artist issues wrapped up in a nice tidy box. ;) But seriously, the film date with Jenn was amazing. The laughter we had at half of the stuff in the Historic area made it enough.

And then I got my film back from The Darkroom, and I cried a little. The photos came out. And they came out beautifully. My own worst critic was silenced this time. I still need more practice with the manual lens, but I know I'll be a lot more daring with the next roll of film.

Let's do this, film. Let's make some sweet, sweet Ansel Adams music!


PRACTICE SET
Assignment: Manual Settings with Manual Focus + B&W
Location: Colonial Williamsburg
Equipment: Nikon N90s, Nikon 85mm f/1.4 AI-s, and a Light Meter app
Film: Kodak T-Max 100
Date: August 22, 2012

Personal Projects Exposed a la Film.

The smell of darkroom chemicals disgusted me to be honest. It's burned into my smell memory-- that pungent odor of those liquids that made a blank canvas into shapes, shadows, and figures.

Yet the mystic and intrigue with how light transformed white paper always fascinated me. You all know my Mom was a film photographer. I was actually the one that finally converted her to digital, and now here I am with piqued interest in my film work again.

Boy oh boy is it a learning curve, photo-fam! I'm used to creating the film-look in post-production, not in camera.

But before the questions are asked, no, I don't plan on offering film for my sessions. :) It's just not practical for me and my biz workflow... and especially since my work is already film-like thanks to my little ole Lightroom.

However, film is my catalyst. It is taking me back to personal projects. Stretching muscles, old and achy from disuse.

I have kept these hidden because I got nervous. I got nervous because I'm still stretching, still warming up. Still trying to figure out how to manually focus on that blasted Nikon 85mm lens with no auto focus. ;)

(Note: If you wear glasses, you know why this is difficult. The optics in a camera can be off from the optics of your eyewear. It can be a huge challenge, and it's why I use auto-focus on my digital lenses. We don't need any out of focus subjects... ;) )

Out of the 60 odd photos I took as my practice rolls back in February, the four below were the only quality ones. The ones that are pushing me forward and saying, "Use that Kodak Portra film that you got at WPPI in February. And then dive into that black-and-white goodness you have on your shelf."

(And to be transparent, yes, it literally was out of about 60 photos. The others were well... something left to be desired. haha)

So, photo-fam, this is my public accountability. By the end of the year, I'm going to not let that film sit on a shelf. I'm going to use it. Capture things that often go unnoticed and master that manual focus. And hopefully tap into my inner Ansel Adams with those black-and-white rolls. :) Just for me.


PRACTICE SET
Assignment: Manual Settings with Manual Focus
Location: Balboa Park
Equipment: Nikon N90s, Nikon 85mm f/1.4 AI-s
Film: Kodak Gold 200
Date: February 25, 2012